In Pulp Fiction, there is a deleted scene in which Uma Thurman’s character asks John Travolta the following:

MIA: In a conversation, do you listen or wait to talk?

VINCENT: (pauses, thinking deeply) I wait to talk — but I’m trying to listen.

 

I’ve long held the belief that a good sign of intelligence is the ability to imagine yourself in another’s position. Not just see their side of the story but to actually imagine and predict their responses based on assuming their thought process.

 

To do this effectively you really have to listen and hear what is said. Admittedly I’m not very good at predicting the response…but I do listen.

 

Conversely, a good indicator of the abscence of intelligence is when one "waits to talk". Rather than participating in the conversation, with an exchange of ideas, a person simply uses the time in which you’re talking to mentally prepare a retort. As soon as you are done, regardless of what you said, they blurt out the response.

 

A good indicator of a healthy conversation is actually the ABSCENCE of speech. This shows that folks are listening, interpreting ideas and building on what was contributed by the other person.

 

People that "wait to speak" tend to rattle on for some time, repeating themselves in various ways. Another dead giveaway is that they talk OVER someone else in the conversation. Unfortunately when this happens the more rational of the two is typically the one that gives way to the other.

 

Unfortunately I’m seeing this more and more these days. If you’re in a conversation where someone talks over you, repeats themselves aimlessly and begins talking the second you’ve stopped only to address the wrong point, punch out Maverick!!! You’ve just encountered a "waiter".